Im Back!!!

Well, its been awhile since my last update, just wana say Hi...yaa! why so lame one.. to everyone .. without anymore loso words, lets just begin the sarcasm!!



Just be patient and wait for my next post.. TQ

Bye For Awhile

Greetings! Sorry no updatesss, LCH need to stop sarcastic for awhile due to some "headache".. LCH will or maybe will be back after 4^th December if im still mentally ok.. THANK YOU...

A collection of insults!

(1) Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's head.


(2) I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.


(3) They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.


(4) You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.


(5) People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!


(6) You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.


(7) I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more! Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.


(8) I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?


(9) Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.


(10) People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.


(11) Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.


(12) I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.


(13) When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.


(14) I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.


(15) I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.


(16) I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

Mesra, Cepat Dan Betul!!

“Mesra, cepat dan betul” or “friendly, swift and correct”… That’s what they called themselves!! Ya right!

-They will be friendly to you only if you rich!
-They will be fast only if they received kopiO!
-They’re always correct even they’re found guilty!




Those are all our abang polisman.. they look professional when they do parade! when get into real business, they hide inside the blue building and eat their nyonya kuih..




So you expect these kind of traffic police catch MAT REMPIT for you?? The police bikes got enough power to move o not??




What’s that??!!! dancing JOGET DANCE arr??!! or DONDANG??!!

Ikut Suka Abdullah

Recently we can see gov often use ISA system to arrest people they dun like or people who accidentally said something mildly sensitive.. But, I find that it is not the matter what you say, but is the matter who you are…

raja petra kamarudin

That’s famous blogger raja petra kamarudin, a malay who dun want to be malay, a malay who always offended malay..

So he got arrested under ISA again lo..




That’s opposition party member and also a parliament member thesa kok, she too always says something to hurt malay…


So she too got arrested under ISA lo….




That’s ahmad ismail who speak shit language and deeply offended chinese… said Chinese are penumpang in this country…


And still… He is free…

SO, what is ISA?? I dun understand this law.. Izit ISA = Ikut Suka Abdullah?? He can arrest whoever he want?? OR ISA = Ikut Suka Ahmad Ismail??? ARR~~ confuse la…

Jalan-jalan Cari “tak ada”

Jalan~~ Jalannnn~~~ jalan jalan, cari makan…

Sound familiar? Yes, that’s a part of song lyric from a tv program called “jalan-jalan cari makan”..

That program introduced people where can find best food in Malaysia, shows a fat mak cik no fear of fat and cholesterol, went all the place in Malaysia and eat all the time.. and every time after she finish the food, she will pass a piece of wood brand to the shop’s owner as a gift and also as a acknowledgement…

two fatty crews and that fat makcik

For me, that’s a “not bad” standard of tv program since I saw the makcik getting fatter after she hosting that program.. that proved she dint lie abt how “sedap” those food are.. But… the “not bad” standard in my mind suddenly changed to “too bad” soon after I saw the priceless wood brand at………..

HERE… The most lousy and annoying restaurant canteen in kuching! Sarawak state library’s canteen.. the tauke treat chinese like shit! everything we order foods that listed in the menu, he will answer you “tak ada”.. maybe next time we order food from him, we should ask “eh bodoh, ada apa?”..



!!! cant believe that !!!



See that?? know what’s that? A wild BIRD flying here and there, up and down INSIDE the canteen.. so next time when you eat there and find that someone add something alike mayornis or belacan sambal sauce into you food, dun be so surprise ok?.. Just look up and see if the bird there??

Up The Crack

Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.

His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"

"Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.

Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"

"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"

Read Before You Buy

Usually when we go buy some package food or can food from shop, automatically we will read the label stick on the can to get some information abt the product and make sure it’s worth for us to buy…




That’s a example of local made can product, F&N sweetened creamer that I bought from a granny shop.. and I read before I buy..

• I make sure it's healthy and vitaminised.
• I make sure it's cholesterol free.
• I make sure it's easy to open.
• I make sure it's cheap.

But besides that, we should also make sure it’s PATRIOTIC! Ok now STAND UP!!!! SALUTE to the can!! and we read together!!

- Trust the GOD!
- Loyal to the King and Kong!
- Respect the law's head!
- Just follow Law!
- Behave yourself!

Mock Exam For Real Mock People!

My school stpm MOCK exam just starts this Thursday, so this Wednesday LCH and friends try to be a bit different.. do something we seldom done before.. guess wud, we went to state library to STUDY!! MUAHAHAHA….



Seriously, LCH still think library is not a good place to study for ppl like us! haha.. Im right! not even can tahan for half an hour.. then we went down to play comp and eat at the lousy canteen there..

To make this post more interesting, let’s play a simple game here.. Is called “ GUESS WHO MOCK”!

This game is to guess who was really study and who was not and tying to pretend like he was or wud we called MOCK!

Example:

Do you think LCH seriously study?

Sorry, u r wrong, I MOCK only..

Clear? No rules apply! ok now start!


First , Alex.. does he really study??







NO! Mock only!



Second, Ah Ei, Study?







Yes, REAL!



Then, Ah Jui, study?… Ah Jui? hahaha…. I think this one is bonus question la..







MOCK! of course..



Finally… Ah leng and Amy….







Hahaha… 50% MOCK!… how 50%? left 50% mock, right 50% real la… LOL.. So, now can you see how mock we are? We will mock till the end!!

LCH here wishing all the MOCK candidates good luck lo!..

My Hump!

My hump! my hump! my hump! my hump!! My lovely little hump! check it out!!
Saw this "unique" somewhere at green road-pok kong park area.. Is that your car??

MUTHU

(1) MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer : "What is your birth date?"
Muthu : "13th October."
Interviewer : "Which year?"
Muthu : "Every year."

(2) MUTHU & HIS MANAGER
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview....
"Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."

(3) MUTHU & LONDON TRIP
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: "No! Why?"
Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'...that's why."

(4) MUTHU & TOURIST
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village... and
Muthu said .. "No sir, only babies were born here."

(5) MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."

(6) MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard "WASH BASIN"

(7) MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."

Dedicate this to my friend alvin who just got his second knee operation last tuesday, hope there is no third for him in the future..

His Son

That is a weight place somewhere inside sarawak general hospital since years ago to measure and update patient’s bodyweight… and it is so strong, accurate, durable and reliable!





And guess wud, it is made by Dick’s son, Dick Junior!

Junk & Instant Food Is Good For Your Health!

If your parents still everyday loso loso to you, says this too sweet cannot eat that too salt cannot eat then you should show them this…

hot cup

That’s Maggie hot cup instant noodles…

let's talk nutrition!

Turn to the side a bit then you can see written there small small “LET’S TALK NUTRITION”! so… let’s talk lo..

“Maggie@Hot Cup is a source of protein which is essential for growth and development”… That’s how it TALK lo… now you understand? Eat more ya!



Then another ridiculous snek nutrition information..

MAMEE monster

That’s MAMEE MONSTER snek mee..

And makanan ini,

• bebas kolesterol
• bebas asid lemak
• tinggi protein
• kaya dgn karotena semulajadi
• kaya dgn vitaminn E semulajadi

Jadi... apa tunggu lagi? cepat cepat beli dan makan! bagus untuk pertumbuhan! cepat tumbuh cepat mati mar...

Use Condom Please

• A family of dozen with only rm300 of monthly income
• Single mother work as cleaner and her 7 children
• A family of 8 stay in a 36x36 feet square pondok without water and power supply
  

Big family, low income, low educated are situation that we can see, not to say too far till country like Africa or zimbawee but in Malaysia too we can easily find that..




Reality tv show like “Bersamamu” or “finding angels” are also often capture those poor wretched look and show it to whole of Malaysia to beg for sympathize and donation… “saya banyak susah… anak banyak, gaji sikit… suami lari… aduh… susah… banyak susah la… susah banyak, anak pun banyak… semua tak bersekolah.. makan pun tak cukup… tolonglah kami… kasihan la kami…” - serve u right- is really annoying to see them crying like shit on tv begging ppl for help.. they knew they cannot afford to buy milkpowder for their baby but they still keep producing!! why?!!

But do you know that can be prevent just by using CONDOM??

Common sense la.. those family are just facing heavy financial problem that cause by themselves nia la.. got money, all settle lo.. They fck too much! bear too much! but earn too little! how to survive? To avoid all that is just so simple, that is to have a proper family plan and not just fk and bear like my guppyfish!

For all that, condom is the answer! It is cheap, effective, easy to find and easy to use! so pls dun give noob reason like “cannot afford” or “dunno how to use” anymore la! dun buy expensive durian flavour that introduce by Kenny Sia one la.. use side street or 7eleven shop sell cheap cheap one can liao mar.. as long as your soldiers do not cross the line then save liao ma.. So use condom please!

What?! still too expensive?! Use balloon lo! 10 cent each!!